Soap is not a condiment
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
