i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
