Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize