I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
