I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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