their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
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I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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