Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(225): View more from Louisiana

Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.

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(225): Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over. http://tfl.nu/jb0a

Replies (16) Good night (2951) Bad night (820)
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(214): View more from Texas

she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?

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(214): she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her? http://tfl.nu/okee

Replies (27) Good night (859) Bad night (3312)
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(201): View more from New Jersey

he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad

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(201): he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad http://tfl.nu/jzas

Replies (40) Good night (811) Bad night (4353)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it

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(651): This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it http://tfl.nu/dpvg

Replies (19) Good night (4199) Bad night (1428)
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(413): View more from Massachusetts

he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.

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(413): he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home. http://tfl.nu/1p9s

Replies (5) Good night (961) Bad night (3550)
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(859): View more from Kentucky

My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.

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(859): My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over. http://tfl.nu/t1vw

Replies (9) Good night (776) Bad night (5742)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.

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(612): Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes. http://tfl.nu/p3u3

Replies (3) Good night (2735) Bad night (945)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players

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(651): We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players http://tfl.nu/pd68

Replies (4) Good night (2007) Bad night (637)
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(540): View more from Virginia

hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.

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(540): hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one. http://tfl.nu/c556

Replies (5) Good night (1811) Bad night (704)
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(509): View more from Washington

Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".

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(509): Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable". http://tfl.nu/w1e1

Replies (20) Good night (1713) Bad night (662)
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(616): View more from Michigan

Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom

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(616): Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom http://tfl.nu/kxki

Replies (3) Good night (1538) Bad night (740)
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(970): View more from Colorado

Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms

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(970): Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms http://tfl.nu/zzyw

Replies (1) Good night (578) Bad night (925)
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(734): View more from Michigan

Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.

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(734): Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke. http://tfl.nu/ywvx

Replies (1) Good night (394) Bad night (778)
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(702): View more from Nevada

Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.

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(702): Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well. http://tfl.nu/ln4y

Replies (3) Good night (304) Bad night (703)
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(260): View more from Indiana

We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.

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(260): We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right. http://tfl.nu/s77j

Replies (5) Good night (767) Bad night (375)

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