Texts From Last Night

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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.

  (1-513): View more from Ohio

  She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.

  (513): View more from Ohio

  She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.

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  (513): Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen. (1-513): She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do. (513): She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses. http://tfl.nu/52u6
  Replies (35) Good night (1337) Bad night (4811)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  sounds like you fell off the wagon.

  (1-617): View more from Massachusetts

  fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.

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  (617): sounds like you fell off the wagon. (1-617): fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon. http://tfl.nu/7sjj
  Replies (5) Good night (4222) Bad night (802) Order T-Shirt
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  (407): View more from Florida

  he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse

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  (407): he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse http://tfl.nu/je2y
  Replies (160) Good night (11270) Bad night (1058)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well

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  (757): I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well http://tfl.nu/14t6
  Replies (7) Good night (4377) Bad night (1142) Order T-Shirt
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I spit up blood this morning

  (206): View more from Washington

  That's vegas.

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  (919): I spit up blood this morning (206): That's vegas. http://tfl.nu/44z7
  Replies (8) Good night (3685) Bad night (1385)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.

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  (316): I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back. http://tfl.nu/cqa8
  Replies (42) Good night (5020) Bad night (1519) Order T-Shirt
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.

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  (231): His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots. http://tfl.nu/wxgc
  Replies (6) Good night (3694) Bad night (671) Order T-Shirt
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  (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.

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  (787): He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him. http://tfl.nu/klex
  Replies (21) Good night (4460) Bad night (971) Order T-Shirt
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.

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  (515): She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped. http://tfl.nu/qksr
  Replies (6) Good night (4109) Bad night (968) Order T-Shirt
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".

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  (905): I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn". http://tfl.nu/2c8a
  Replies (6) Good night (2102) Bad night (521) Order T-Shirt
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.

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  (225): You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness. http://tfl.nu/h6eg
  Replies (5) Good night (341) Bad night (844) Order T-Shirt
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?

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  (214): Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being? http://tfl.nu/tmnj
  Replies (9) Good night (553) Bad night (644) Order T-Shirt
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  You are a booty call, not a friend.

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  (314): You are a booty call, not a friend. http://tfl.nu/bgd1
  Replies (9) Good night (1328) Bad night (1307) Order T-Shirt
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  (229): View more from Georgia

  I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.

  (1-229): View more from Georgia

  I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.

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  (229): I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier. (1-229): I feel like I got ass raped in the brain. http://tfl.nu/l1ue
  Replies (15) Good night (715) Bad night (407) Order T-Shirt
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.

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  (630): no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man. http://tfl.nu/w6gc
  Replies (9) Good night (367) Bad night (696) Order T-Shirt

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