Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Randomize
