whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?