Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (904): how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard http://tfl.nu/2uys
  Replies (13) Good night (986) Bad night (1947)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (205): why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!? http://tfl.nu/xjgi
  Replies (29) Good night (796) Bad night (4099)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already http://tfl.nu/ip8k
  Replies (31) Good night (6879) Bad night (837)
• Favorite

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (270): I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea? http://tfl.nu/h6xa
  Replies (43) Good night (9357) Bad night (2432)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (843): It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora. http://tfl.nu/zv3b
  Replies (16) Good night (2815) Bad night (1077)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (505): I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat. http://tfl.nu/2tx3
  Replies (14) Good night (4020) Bad night (1362)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me. http://tfl.nu/ecsp
  Replies (13) Good night (2907) Bad night (800)
• Favorite

  (556): View more from

  Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (556): Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard http://tfl.nu/2l07
  Replies (10) Good night (2130) Bad night (767)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep. http://tfl.nu/ccvs
  Replies (5) Good night (1420) Bad night (584)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (413): i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown??? http://tfl.nu/ek0c
  Replies (3) Good night (740) Bad night (429)
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (562): That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation. http://tfl.nu/22zx
  Replies (5) Good night (337) Bad night (864)
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  I don't  care how much you're grieving  a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior. 

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (501): I don't  care how much you're grieving  a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.  http://tfl.nu/bx8n
  Replies (2) Good night (449) Bad night (778)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick http://tfl.nu/9fbv
  Replies (2) Good night (679) Bad night (269)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life http://tfl.nu/7dpz
  Replies (2) Good night (277) Bad night (527)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (317): You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear. http://tfl.nu/e71o
  Replies (1) Good night (731) Bad night (285)

Randomize