Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far