I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
