i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
