So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
