update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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