I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
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She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
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Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize