It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
BRING THE BAGELS
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
