i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Randomize
