I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
