Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.