we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit