Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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