yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
My vagina is very pro this idea
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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