Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Randomize
