Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
We had sex on a dog bed..
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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