i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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