I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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