i think i have two assholes
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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