two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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