youre lurking in front of me
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
