You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
YAS. BRING CRAB.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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