But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
