You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
