ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
