How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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