the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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