you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
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She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
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i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Watching her eat just hurts me
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
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