I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize