what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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