Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
