i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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