If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
