We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
this boner is exhausting
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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