hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
