I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize