I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
