those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize