Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
my sisters under your porch take her home
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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