How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
