Screwed.edu
i think i have herpe
just one?
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
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