If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
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