my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Randomize
