I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
We named our party play list daddy issues
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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