just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
