I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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