You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
