so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
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