Ketchup is God's man juice
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize