how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
you had me at cake vodka
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
