yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
