All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
