the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
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